KAREN’S PREDICTION:
So much has changed in our daily lives since the pandemic hit this past spring that I have been looking forward to the familiar ritual of predicting the Huskers’ wins for the 2020 season. Then I took a hard look at the schedule that our good friends at the B1G have put together for us and I was so depressed I considered reviewing COVID mortality rates to lighten the mood…...
Ohio State - loss. (Granted, the Horseshoe will not be filled with 102,780 drunk Buckeyes, but really how many fans does Ohio State’s offensive line need cheering them on against the Huskers’ shaky defense?)
Wisconsin - loss. (Bucky’s cheese eaters on the offensive and defensive lines have not gotten smaller.)
Northwestern - win. (Husker fans will have trouble social distancing when they are high-fiving each other on November 4.)
Penn State - loss. (After a celebratory week where talk radio will be filled with “we are back, baby” calls, Penn State will bring it all to a screeching halt.)
Illinois - loss. (Lovey Smith’s beard will distract the Huskers, and a much-improved Fighting Illini team will take advantage of the physical beating the Huskers will have taken at the hands of Penn State.)
Iowa - loss. (Puke emoji. Cursing emoji. Weary face emoji.)
Purdue - loss. (They’ve beaten us the last two times, and the Huskers will be dealing with the crippling shame that attends a loss to the *barf* Hawkeyes.)
Minnesota - loss. (Look, I don’t like it any more than you do, but the Gophers have their entire starting offensive line back and that will not be good for us.)
So there you have it. A crushing 1-7 season, will have Husker fans longing for the sweeter, more joyous days of March and April of 2020. And we all will watch every excruciating snap, fumble and incompletion. BECAUSE HUSKER FOOTBALL IS FUN DAMN IT.
Overall prediction: 1- 7 :-(
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled existential despair…...
STEVE’S PREDICTION:
Eight Nebraska football players sued the Big Ten over its decision to postpone the season. Really?!? I’ve never seen a group of people so anxious for an ass-whooping that they would file a lawsuit asking for it! Alright, I guess we’re really going to do this.
First, the good news. It is impossible for the Cornhuskers to get curb-stomped by the Michigan Wolverines because they don’t play this year. The bad news? Your Nebraska Cornhuskers still have to play Ohio State, Wisconsin, and Penn State. These games will be reminiscent of the PTSD-inducing, Plastic Spoon Beatdowns™ that my mom put on me in the early 80s for, as far as I can recall, being a perfect child. Iowa and Minnesota? Nebraska won’t be up to the task, and we’ll have to put up with Tyler bragging about his Hawkeyes beating a has-been program. Nebraska will manage to eke out two wins against Northwestern, Purdue, and Illinois, but that should leave you with the same feeling I have when I take money from everyone at KSB playing poker. Sure, it’s a win, but how good can you feel about getting over on the less fortunate?
The Huskers will end the regular-season Big Ten schedule with a 2-6 record. I’ll call the +1 game a toss-up that the Huskers will manage to lose. The Huskers will not be one of the 78 teams that earns a bowl bid. The Huskers finish the season 2-7, resulting in the Big Ten filing a lawsuit of their own against the University of Nebraska for breach of contract for failing to play football in good faith.
BOBBY’S PREDICTION:
My goodness! Would you look at all this doom and gloom! Karen remains in existential despair; Steve and Jordan don’t count--they’re like the annoying uncle and cousin who just happened to like the Cowboys, Braves, and Bulls in the 90s; Tyler went to Iowa, so he’s immediately disqualified as biased; and it’s clear Matt’s affinity for Notre Dame of the ACC fame (they joined a conference!) has tainted Shari to an unacceptable degree. That leaves Coady, and he’s also at 3-5. Woof.
I’m going with 4-4, and I’m the optimist!? Of course, that’s a very sad state of affairs when I (and Vegas) am teetering on a line of o/u 3.5 wins for 8 games. I’d put my money on the unders (3-5) but my heart wants 4-4, so that’s what you’re gonna get from me in a year that needs more cowbell.
I see some of my derelict colleagues predicting 2-3 wins over what should be 10 total games (8 regular season, 1 conference tournament game, and 1 bowl game). If that happens, maybe we should be predicting wins from a new coach next year (yeah, I said it). As far as the 8 games we have, Nebraska only looks to be a pre-season, 2-score dog in 2 of them (Ohio State and Penn State). I get that point spreads are to induce betting and are not intended to be predictive, but Vegas has been pretty good in the prediction market over the last, I dunno, century. So 6 of our 8 games are informally predicted to be within 1 score. Can Vegas be so wrong so many years in a row on Nebraska? I’m hoping for a mere regression to the mean so that we barely cover the o/u 3.5 win total at 4. It’s not like I’m asking for us to go better than .500, geez.
I’m going with wins against Illinois, Purdue, and Northwestern. Then, I think we get one of Wisconsin, Iowa, or Minnesota, the latter two of which should have opening lines within a field goal or 2. Nebraska hasn’t beaten a top-10 team since 2015 and even that year Michigan State lost its bowl game and finished outside of the top 10 in the final Sagarin. There’s a statistical “we’re due” argument to be made, but I’m not making it. Sadly, I’ll be elated if we cover 4 TD and 2 TD spreads against Ohio State and Penn State.
So, 4-4 with some bruising losses mixed in. At that record, we’ll get a decent draw as the 3rd-5th ranked team in the west division for the bonus game on conference championship weekend. Maybe a gettable Michigan State or Maryland. I also think Nebraska’s following may lead to us being outmatched in any bowl game we’re invited to, but sadly “outmatched” isn’t that tough. Maybe those extra bowl practices with a young team and the free year of eligibility from the NCAA will mean we get talented guys up to speed for a bowl appearance and steal one. Assuming all games are played:
Regular Season: 4-4
Conference Bonus Game and Bowl: 1-1
Overall: 5-5
(COVID-19: 1-0)
If we only win 2 or 3 out of 10, I may have to ask Karen to buy me a ticket on the express train toward deflated expectations for our once-proud program. Even if we go 4-4, that’ll mark the 17th year in a row Nebraska has lost at least 4 games. And that’s the optimistic view of the group...
SHARI’S PREDICTION:
The only thing that is a for sure win in 2020 is COVID. I think we would all agree that 2020 has been a crappy year and I’m pretty sure that will be what takes all the blame for the Nebraska losses this year. Unfortunately, there will be a lot. Which is where all the excuses come in. Season was cancelled, season was back on, we got the worst schedule, we couldn’t properly prepare and on and on and on. I think Nebraska will get two wins this season. Illinois and Purdue. The only plus of a 2 win season this year is that they still get to go to a bowl game. I will give Nebraska a win in that game to finish on a high note.
COADY’S PREDICTION:
It doesn’t take Bill Moos whining about the B1G’s scheduling decisions to know that this slate presents a challenge for Nebraska. It’ll be an upset if Nebraska beats any of Ohio State, Wisconsin, Penn State, or Iowa.
[Author’s Note: It pains me to include the Hawkeyes in that list--especially since our own Tyler Coverdale attended law school in Iowa City, and I am not enthusiastic about hearing from Tyler how well the Hawkeyes are doing. But, I only have to think back to the last few Thanksgiving weekends to conclude that until Nebraska shows that its defensive front seven is more stout, then Iowa will continue to matriculate the ball down the “Blackshirts” throat four yards at a time. So, Iowa joins the other B1G heavyweights as probable losses.]
I see probable wins against Illinois and Purdue. That’s it. That’s the list.
I mark down Northwestern and Minnesota as toss-up games. Partly because the COVID-19 pandemic will preclude Ryan Field in Evanston from feeling like Memorial Stadium North, taken over by the Sea of Red (which typically happens), and also because I refuse to live in a world where Minnesota and its gimmicky coach are assumed losses for Nebraska. Assume that Nebraska splits these games and finishes the pre-scheduled slate at 3-5.
The good news: That is three more wins that it looked like Nebraska would get on August 12 after the B1G cancelled the football season. The bad news: Re-starting the football season back up is likely to lead to at least five more losses, too.
Man, I truly hope that I am wrong and that Nebraska football brings us all some unexpected joy this fall. I suspect that I am not.
TYLER’S PREDICTION:
Did you know if you google “What’s wrong with the Nebraska Cornhuskers?” you get 10,900,000 hits? That’s a lot of problems for a once proud program who produced upstanding citizens like Ndamukong Suh and Richie Incognito. Ah yes, the glorious history of the late ‘90s of which I’m reminded every time I bring up the dear Cornhuskers recent record against it’s now superior rival to the east. I suppose being a Huskers fan is similar to being a Cowboys fan—reliving the glory days of thirty years ago while consistently losing to teams from Wisconsin (GO PACK GO!).
But on to this year. It’s going to be a rough go. Nebraska was leading the charge to get football back, and maybe the Big Ten was mad at them for it so it gave them this schedule. Starting off against the buzzsaws that are Ohio State and Wisconsin, the Huskers are in for a bad time. They may steal a win in Evanston against Northwestern but I wouldn’t bet my life on it. They’ll likely get a W at home against the Illini, but then reality will set back in as they make the journey to Iowa City for their annual loss to the Hawkeyes. Maybe someday KSB will actually see a Husker victory over Iowa (last happened in 2014), but I doubt it’ll happen this year at Kinnick against that offensive line.
Husker fans will flirt with hope again with a victory over Purdue, but the year will end with a disheartening loss to the Golden Gophers at home.
2-6.
MATT’S PREDICTION:
LET’S GO S’KERS! Time to forget about Covid for a couple hours and watch some football. Damn it -- Ohio St. scored already, well better make a drink. Dang they scored again! Better make it a shot and a beer this time! Husker fans look on the bright side, the following week they play Wisconsin and won’t lose by 40! Instead they will get pounding from their rushing attack and lose by just 30. Man, I could talk smack all day, but I'll stop. The s’kers will get a few wins. I’m predicting wins from Northwestern, Illinois, Purdue and that’s where the wins stop! 3-5 (only 5 losses, not bad)!
JORDAN’S PREDICTION:
Misery loves company, and this lifelong Lions fan in Nebraska is slated to have a lot of company for football season. A word of advice – look at this season as a comedy, not a drama, and remember, no one likes the sad clown. Don’t cry! Laugh with the Ohio State fans (who have become the only ones that appreciate Nebraska’s presence in the Big Ten) as they take a thirty point lead into half time. Smile as you (totally legally) bet the over on how many field goals can be missed against the Badgers. Giggle with glee at the first win against Illinois. And, of course, breathe a sigh of relief that there are no fans in stadiums, which means you won’t need to navigate Iowa’s road construction (or smell the air over there.) In short, enjoy the journey, because the destination is bleak. 2-6 with losses in the TBA game and any “bowl” game to follow.