This is the post you’ve been waiting for! It’s game week! But, before we dive into the picks, here’s your reminder that KSB’s annual tailgate party will be held from 3:30 - 6:30 on September 7th at the new KSB office.
If you haven’t RSVP’d yet, you can do so here.
KAREN’S PREDICTION:
*Well, well, well, look who’s back for another round of Huskers heartbreak!* I’d say I’m excited, but we all know better by now. After years of this, I’ve become the Eeyore of Husker football—except even Eeyore would probably tell me to cheer up. But let’s get to it: I’m predicting five wins this season. And yes, that’s with my usual dose of existential dread.
First off, let me just address the maize and blue elephant in the room. Y’all have NO IDEA how insufferable Steve and Jordan are right now. I just want to point out that Jim Harbaugh hightailed it to the NFL like he was fleeing a crime scene (Michigan players were able to give some helpful tips). I’m sure Bill Belichick and Sean Payton are thrilled to no longer be the only ones on Roger Goodell’s watch list.
I also have very big feelings about the expansion of the B10. I’m sure that Tony Petitti, the Big Ten's New Commissioner, is jealous that KSB has our very own Californian, but this conference realignment is simply out of control.
Now, for the real show.
Nebraska’s season will start with a huge, angry Husker win against UTEP. Shari is calling their AD this week to offer to send a KSB lawyer to talk to their team about good digital citizenship (first lesson: don’t piss off opposing teams on Twitter).
Things will get very real very fast when Coach Prime struts into town. I hate myself for it, but I’ve got myself convinced that this one goes the Huskers’ way. Shedeur will be dodging Ty Robinson and Jimari Butler harder than Shilo dodging judgments in bankruptcy court. And for a moment - one sweet moment - I’ll be drinking the Big Red Kool Aid.
The rest of the season does have some wins: Northern Iowa? We’ll send them packing faster than you can say “cornfield.” Illinois or Indiana? Yeah, we’re losing one of those. (Take your pick; it’s like choosing between stubbing your toe or biting your tongue. Either one stings and robs you of your dignity.) UCLA? Sure, we’ll take that one, and Bobby—bless his heart—will start talking about how the season is turning around. I’m almost envious of his naivety. Almost. (At least Bobby is not as perpetually optimistic as Sara. Seriously, if her Husker spirit could be bottled, we’d never need Red Bull again.)
But let’s not kid ourselves about the rest. Ohio State (yes, we called an emergency meeting of the KSB hiring committee when we discovered Amanda’s hidden football heresy, but she is going to be that good of a lawyer, folks), Wisconsin, USC - those games will be uglier than P.J. Fleck’s OnlyFans page. Those losses will not be as irritating as our homecoming loss to Rutgers. (Rutgers’ Homecoming Court, where the tiaras aren’t the only thing made of plastic.) And Iowa? Even if the rumor about Brian Ferentz taking over for dad during the suspension were true (sadly, it is not) those ticky tacky recruiting violations will be in the distant past when the damn Hawkeyes ruin another perfectly lovely Thanksgiving weekend. (Tyler, we get it—you went to Iowa, but some of us have standards.)
The tail end of the season is going to be ugly, folks. We’re talking “delete your social media” kind of losses. Brace yourselves.
So, five wins it is. It’s not a Cinderella story, but at least we’re not Oregon State or Washington State.
STEVE’S PREDICTION:
[Editor’s Note. It’s bad enough we have an Irish fan at KSB (cough, Matt Russell, cough). The fact that someone as wonderful as Matt can root for evil was tempered at least a bit when we hired a fellow Michigan Wolverine fan. Yes, for all of his faults, Jordan Johnson roots for the greatest team in the history of college football. It’s proof that even a blind chicken finds a kernel of corn once in a while. But now I learn below of one of life’s greatest betrayals. KSB hired a Buckeye fan. There is a fox in the hen house! And here I thought I’d never get a chance to use those house-burning skills I learned as a kid in Detroit on Devil’s Night! I mean, I have no idea why Amanda’s house is on fire officer . . .]
The Dylan Raiola era has arrived. Mr. Raiola has fans pretty fired up about the future. I haven’t seen anyone this excited since Jordan learned that Taco Bell began serving breakfast. Yes, Mr. Raiola is a five-star prospect. Yes, he was supposed to go to Georgia, one of the premier programs in the country. But he is a true freshman, and he’ll be playing behind Nebraska’s O-Line instead of Georgia’s. I expect some typical freshman ups and downs from the new guy, but I also expect improvement from the rest of the team. Dare I say that the Huskers will resemble a real football team this year?!?
The first half of the schedule makes Hostess jealous, and the Cornhuskers take full advantage. They begin the season 6-1, and Husker fans are making plans for the playoff. Unfortunately for the Cornhuskers, they will have to play the last 5 games of the season. The Huskers begin a rollercoaster end to the season with a loss at Ohio State. They follow that up with a win against UCLA, a loss to USC, a win against Wisconsin, and a season-ending loss at Iowa. An 8-4 season for the Huskers and their first bowl game since 2016!
BOBBY’S PREDICTION:
Does this year actually feel different than the last 7? Or am I just that desperate for some mid-December bowl game with its 3rd new name in the last 3 years? What the hell is the Cricket Celebration Bowl on December 14? IDK, but I’d take it.
Preseason odds have the Huskers favored in 9 games, one-score underdogs in 2 games (USC, Iowa), and big underdogs against Ohio State. But the win total is over/under 7.5 for the 12-game regular season. It’s almost like Vegas knows how Husker fans bet...but on with my predictions.
UTEP: The Dylan Raiola era starts 1-0, even if a bit sloppy.
Colorado: Woof. Win this game and you “should have,” but lose this game and way too many people react the way Steve does when he gets cut off in traffic. I think Raiola is a genuine talent at QB. But he’ll press too much after some game 1 hype on national TV, and Shedeur Sanders leads a game-winning drive against a gassed Nebraska defense.
Northern Iowa: Close enough to Iowa City I have to predict a win.
Illinois: My heart says we can go 4-0 through this next stretch, but my brain can’t let it happen. I respect Bielema way more than I want to respect him. Something just feels off to me about this one. Emotional loss to Colorado, get-back win over UNI that masks real issues, then a short week and a Friday night game much to the chagrin of ADs across the state. Our shaky left tackle position leads to a sack on Raiola that stalls a comeback drive. Bleh.
Purdue: Playing in front of dozens of rabid fans in West Lafayette is always tough… But I think the Huskers pull away in a game where the turnover battle makes a big difference, and we’re finally on the right side of it.
Rutgers: Remember how I feel about Bielema? Well Schiano is only slightly less detestable, but somehow creates gritty teams. Thankfully this is at home, and DONU gets the homecoming W in an ugly one.
Indiana: Their new coach, Curt Cignetti, made some Scott-Frost-esque comments prior to coaching a single game in Bloomington. “I don't plan on taking a back seat to anybody…. Purdue sucks, but so does Michigan and Ohio State. Go IU.” LOL, okay guy. Nebraska will have 2 weeks to prep, and Coach Cocksure has the Hoosiers off to a solid 5-2 start and feeling more confident than they should. Nebraska in a close one.
Ohio State: Hoping it’s still a game in the 4th quarter, but depth and NIL money prevail either way.
UCLA: So a team from LA comes to Lincoln for a conference game in late October now, huh? What a time to be alive. I think Nebraska takes advantage of a cold night and first-time, first-year head coach in Foster, reaching bowl eligibility for the first time since my first grader was born. That’s a lot of “firsts.”
USC: I have no clue what to expect here, but how is Nebraska only a slight dog in this game? Love him or hate him, I think Lincoln Riley’s feeling a bit of heat at this point and will improve his defense a bit. His crew gets it done in the City of Angels to remain relevant in the Big Ten race.
Wisconsin: I love and hate finishing the season with Wisconsin and Iowa. I think they will be good games, but I’m also pretty sure none of the old Big Ten West “powers” will be in contention for the conference or playoffs. Shush, Iowa fans, no you won’t. To me (and Vegas), these are basically pick ‘ems. I’ll take Nebraska to go 1-1, and finally get the Badger off its back.
Iowa: The funniest thing I read in the offseason was a description of Ferentz’s recruiting violation when courting QB Cade McNamara: “It’s like serving 15 years for buying oregano from your dealer.” LOLz. Now that his son got fake-but-real fired, Kirk is back on top of most detestable opposing coaches. But he somehow convinces opposing teams to play like his, and this will be hideous football if you are a fan of the forward pass and touchdowns. The defense holds up, but Nebraska’s uncertainty in the specialist ranks costs them in a weather-impacted field goal and field position battle in Iowa City.
Final tally: 7-5, a bowl game, and progress, but still at least a year away from sniffing something more than the StaffDNA Cure Bowl (yes, that’s real).
SHARI’S PREDICTION:
We know one thing going into this season. Dylan Raiola wants to be Patrick Mahomes and might be his #1 Mahomie! Dressing like him on move-in day at UNL caught the attention of many, including Patrick. He was also able to get number 15 as the last piece of the puzzle to be like Mahomes. Now, we can only hope he plays like him. As Husker fans do every season, we’ve found one thing to grab onto for us to say “this is the season”. So will the new QB be the thing to get us through this season? Time will tell.
We all know that attorneys like to talk a lot! So I’ll let them do the long predictions. I’ll keep it short. I think that we could be 7-0 going to Ohio State in late October! It’s possible. I think we will lose at Ohio State and then bounce back against UCLA. With the end of the schedule being USC, Wisconsin and Iowa, I believe we will win one of those. I think we will get past Iowa! 2024 Prediction - 9-3! Go Big Red!
The more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s a new year, and there has been a lot of water under the bridge, but I return to a familiar feeling . . . I’m fired up for Nebraska football!!!
COADY’S PREDICTION:
I genuinely think (hope?) that Nebraska is markedly improved. The team was so, so, SO (!) close in too many games last year. Just some more ball security . . . not to mention, . . . (ahem) . . . improvement at the quarterback position, and Nebraska should see much more success in the win-loss column. And, the schedule—especially at the front end—is very favorable. I think it’s likely that Nebraska reaches bowl eligibility before it suffers its first loss. The first seven games should all go Nebraska’s way. (Now, whether they will or not remains to be seen.) So, I’d love to see Nebraska at 7-0 when it goes to the ‘Shoe to face mighty Ohio State. That’ll be tough sledding, though, and Nebraska will take its first L in Columbus. Then, Nebraska will bounce back against UCLA in Memorial Stadium before likely losing the next two in the Coliseum against USC and at home against Wisconsin. The last game in Iowa City will be a coin flip. All in all, I see Nebraska going 8-4, bowl bound, and continuing to practice (and improve) into December. Let’s GOOOOOOOOO!
JORDAN’S PREDICTION:
[Editor’s Note. You will notice I have omitted any reference to the decade of domination against Nebraska referred to in the post by our newest former KSBer Amanda. While I can coalesce with almost anyone around the joy of watching Nebraska fans misery, I disrespectfully refuse to recognize any of the joy felt by resident Husker Haters who cheer for teams in Ohio.]
It’s been a hell of a run for us KSB Husker Haters! Between the glorious triumph of the victors from Ann Arbor last year (which definitely happened, regardless of whether or not it stays in the books) to the era of dominance Tyler’s Hawkeyes reigned over the Little Red for what felt like a decade, the Haterade™ tasted good and cold each year as we came to put down our predictions. I think Steve even got a little tipsy off it last year. But this year? It’s seeming a little warmer and a little weaker than usual with the consensus being at least a bowl bid. And I don’t like the taste of that one bit. So let’s pour one more shot of Maize and Blue into the cup to get back to reality and remember, what can go wrong, will go wrong, for the 5-7 Huskers.
I’ve heard some pundits suggest that it's not inconceivable that Nebraska gets to Columbus a clean 7-0. In the words of the insufferable Lee Corso, not so fast my friends. I see four wins in that stretch with a heartbreaking loss to Colorado setting the tone for the season early. The team will limp into the toughest part of their schedule and only win one more game (most likely a arena football league style shootout with USC) to fall short of the automatic bid. But hey, you’re only one stretch of seasonal affective disorder followed by a spring of optimism and summer of delusion from being right back here, hopeful as ever.
[Editor’s note. Oh, and it's an unexpected 10-2 season for Michigan on their way to a B1G Championship and return to the playoffs, in case you’d like to hop on the bandwagon of a winning team.]
TYLER’S PREDICTION:
Well, I have to find a new joke for this year as my five year old son has unfortunately actually seen an Iowa loss against Nebraska. I don’t think that particular bit of history is going to repeat itself however, as Iowa’s new offensive coordinator will hopefully teach the team this new technique of throwing the football forward to another player beyond the line of scrimmage. I hear it’s all the rage.
For the Huskers, it'll be a tale of two seasons, with a gaggle of wins early to build hope only for reality to set back in as the weather turns, and for reality to stick around for the remainder of the season. Here’s the breakdown with some looks into the minds of the typical husker fan after each week’s game.
UTEP: Win (“Sarcastic Woohoo, we beat UTEP. Keep it under control and act like we’ve been here before.”)
Colorado: Win (“Thank god, Deion would have been insufferable if we’d lost”).
Northern Iowa: Win (“This counts as another win against Iowa, right?”)
Illinois: Win (“Ok, I think we may be good?”)
Purdue: Win (“Oh baby, we are so back.”)
Rutgers: Win (“HAPPY FEELINGS ABOUND. WE’RE NEVER LOSING AGAIN”)
Indiana: Loss (“No panic yet, just one loss”)
Ohio St: Loss (“Come on, no one expected us to actually win this one”)
UCLA: Loss (“Uh oh”)
USC: Loss (🎵”Hello darkness, my old friend”🎵)
Wisconsin: Loss (“Matt, this so doesn’t Rhule.”)
Iowa: Loss (“What, they pass now? That’s so unfair! They only scored with their defense before!”)
So, 6-6 and bowl eligibility, but it won’t feel good.
SARA’S PREDICTION:
Greetings to my fellow disciples of the Scarlet and Cream. This is the year of Husker greatness. While past seasons have left us disappointed, this is the salvation season. Put on your Husker gear, don the cornhead hat, and prepare to chant “Go Big Red.” (Wait - doesn’t this sound like a cult? Am I a member of a cult? O well…)
The team has shown promising signs that this year will keep us on the edge of our seats. With that, I am going to continue to believe my beloved Cornhuskers will have many triumphs. I am calling a 9-3 season (maybe even 10 wins - hot diggity our luck is turning around). The Huskers will record Ws against: UTEP, Colorado, Northern Iowa, Illinois, Purdue, Rutgers, Indiana, UCLA, and Wisconsin. Losses will be against Ohio State, USC, and Iowa.
May the Gridiron Gods smile upon us. Husker Pride, now and forever!
AMANDA’S PREDICTION:
KSB Roster Update! Hello everyone, I’m Amanda, long-time KSB law clerk, and first-time Husker predictor. A bit of backstory. I was born in Ohio, raised in Wisconsin, and now reside in Nebraska… which leads to the question, who do I cheer for? This may be painful for some, but KSB has hired a Buckeye. The good news is, since The Ohio State University has not lost to the Huskers since 2011, I am willing to occasionally root for the Huskers and give a lackluster chant of “Go Big Red!”
Now for my prediction, I engaged in extensive research which consisted of sending at least two texts for input and reading no less than one article. Through this process, I am confident that the Huskers will go 7-5 this season. Huskers will win against: UTEP, Northern Iowa, Illinois, Purdue, Rutgers, Indiana, and UCLA. Naturally, the Huskers will lose against Ohio State… and Colorado, USC, Wisconsin, and Iowa. But who knows, maybe my undoubtedly impressive freshman season as a predictor also means the Husker’s freshman QB will have an equally as impressive year?
MATT’S PREDICTION:
Fooooootball season is here! Another year of predictions that never end well for the Skers! Starting at home with Utep. Well they should win easily, but with a freshman and first game jitters he’s going to rely on the run game and some quick hitters to the receivers to get comfortable. They do get a win 38-24 against Utep. I think they lose to Colorado with Sanders throwing 4 TD’s and Dylan struggling and throwing a pick six, Colorado wins 31-28. Another home game is next. Dylan can get comfortable in the offense against Northern Iowa and get another win under his belt 42-24. Illinois sucks and another cupcake another win 42-28. Finally going on the road to Purdue and this one is a close game because Dylan throws a pick six and can’t get in sync with his receivers, plus gets hurt this game. I feel like they lose another close one with the backup QB in 31-28! I don’t know much about Rutgers other than Greg Schiano is a good head coach and should have them ready to go against the huskers. I think the Huskers lose a tight one. 35-31. Indiana is the third best team in their own state (ND is obviously first followed by Purdue). Dylan comes back and throws three TD’s and wins easily 42-21. Next up is Ohio State and everyone knows this will be a loss and Dylan struggles against the Ohio State defense. 45-17 loss. A much needed win against UCLA will be needed after the loss. Nebraska will get the job done 42-35. I feel like a loss to USC is a losing battle, Lincoln Riley runs up the score on the Skers 45-21. Going into their last home game against Wisconsin they will finally win a close one 31-28. I think Iowa on the road will be a loss 28-24. At this point the Husker fans have lost all faith and are down on what was supposed to be the breakout season. The Huskers will win just enough for a random midweek bowl game! They end the season 6-6! Go Irish!