We know you have all been waiting to read our spicy (and sometimes offensive . . . looking at you Jordan) Husker football predictions. For those of you who are new to KSB or don’t recall last year’s post, it was determined that Steve is likely The Most Amazing Man Alive Jesus Nostradamus or should be offering services as a fortune teller based on his scarily accurate predictions. Check out last year’s post here.
KAREN’S PREDICTION:
Let’s be honest. Nebraska football is like a weird aunt in your family who used to be married to a nice, but boring guy. She ditched him because she thought she could do better, but instead she has brought one weird dude after another to your family Christmas. Remember how she started out with that arrogant loser from back East? Or the angry guy who got into a fight with grandma and kicked her cat? What about the year she was dating a guy the same age as grandpa? Then last year was the worst – she showed up with the party animal she knew from her college days who got drunk, spiked the eggnog and then left before we were done opening presents. This year she is bringing someone who seems normal, but the night is young and who knows what is going to happen? In the end, we all know that the real problem is not the boyfriends. It’s your aunt. She hasn’t aged well and definitely needs some therapy to address her internal issues. Until then, no new boyfriend is going to work out well.
And friends, that sums up my feelings about Matt Rhule and our Nebraska Cornhusker football team.
Could the 3-3-5 defense work in the B1G? Maybe, if we had an athletic linebacker corps. But we only have two returning players in this position group (and last year we had one of the worst passing defenses in the league).
Is Jeff Simms talented enough to lead the Huskers at quarterback? Probably. But just who is going to step in to fill the QB slot when Simms inevitably is injured on an RPO? Chubba Purdy, God love him, is going to get thrown into the fire at some point this year and we all remember how that went in 2022.
Finally, is the offensive line REALLY going to be able to win the battle in the trenches? Come on, folks, let’s be real. I love the kids who will likely be starting (doesn’t Teddy Prochaska seem like a big lovable puppy who hasn’t quite grown into the size of his paws yet?) but Nebraska has neglected this crucial area of recruiting for at least a decade.
Week by week will look like this:
Minnesota: Loss (even a blue moon won’t help us here)
Colorado: Win (please sweet Jesus do NOT let us lose to Neon Deion)
Northern Illinois: Win (I’m not THAT down on Rhule’s squad)
Louisiana Tech: Win (see above, but don’t get cocky, Huskers)
Michigan: Loss (pray for the KSB faithful with two snarky Wolverines in our midst)
Illinois: Loss (this is where stuff gets real)
Northwestern: Win (at least one family member is more messed up than us)
Purdue: Win (this is a toss up, but Memorial stadium will make the difference)
Michigan State: Loss (see above, only we are on the road)
Maryland: Win (c’mon, their mascot is a TURTLE for God’s sake)
Wisconsin: Loss (Mike Leach is gonna be laughing from the beyond unless I’m wrong about our talent with the 3-3-5, which is designed to deal with modern offenses like the Air Raid)
Iowa: Loss (Hawkeyes will be desperate to save Brian Ferentz’s job and hungry to avenge last year’s loss)
That’s it. The good news is that Nebraska will get to 6 wins and make a Bowl game for the first time in eight years. The bad news is it might be in Detroit.
And maybe, just maybe, after spending a Christmas away from her family in the frozen wasteland that is Michigan, Aunt Nebraska will come home, make a new year’s resolution to get herself figured out, and make this new relationship work. (But don’t count on it; there are a couple of recent divorcees from California that are coming to Christmas next year and that might make things even weirder……)
STEVE’S PREDICTION:
Before we get to 2023, can we review your 2022 predictions? Sure.
Did you predict that the Huskers would go 4-8? I sure did.
Did you tell us Scott Frost would be fired midseason? Yep.
Did you tell us that the Huskers would sh*t the bed at every opportunity? You know I did.
And did they? You know they did.
Did you really predict that Matt Rhule would be our next head coach before last season even started? Yes indeed.
Wait a minute. Wasn’t Coach Rhule employed as an NFL coach at the time you made the prediction? Yes. Yes he was.
Did Blue, in fact, Go? You know it. The second straight year in the playoff!
Is it true that everyone at KSB called you Pimp Daddy Steve after the Michigan-Nebraska game? Daddy doesn’t kiss and tell.
You are amazing! Will you marry me? Wow. Even more disappointment for you Husker fans. I married the Luckiest Girl EverTM last season! On to 2023 . . .
I did get one thing wrong last year. I told you the Husker fans would be drinking the Kool-Aid this season. Of course, they are instead drinking the Rhule-Aid. My bad. I admit - it is tempting to take a sip. On paper, Coach Rhule seems to be the most qualified coach that Nebraska has employed in a long time. True, he stumbled in the NFL, but that NFL experience surely made him a better coach. And he’s turned around not one but two college programs in his previous stops. He took two and one-win teams and turned them into 10 and 11 game winners. Remember the last time the Huskers won 11 games? Yeah, me neither, but I’m willing to bet it was before I had all this blond hair. The Husker team he has inherited isn’t nearly as bad as the Temple and Baylor teams he inherited. However, the Huskers are trying to reverse a long streak of mediocrity and stench. Under Scott Frost, the Huskers were 16-31. They had a 10-26 record against Big Ten opponents. And they were 0-14 against ranked teams. That. Is. Terrible. On the plus side, the Huskers’ schedule this season is softer than my midsection. So what do the experts have to say?
Well, in 2021, the oddsmakers set the over/under on Husker wins this year at 6. That was EASY money. Last season, Vegas set the over/under at 7.5 regular season wins. It was funny then. It’s even funnier now. How could the experts have been so obviously wrong? But this year, I’m seeing the number set at 6.5 wins. I have to be honest - I don’t have a great feel for this year’s Husker team, but that number did not make me laugh out loud. Perhaps that is good news for the Huskers and the “experts” are getting closer to predicting the correct win total? Let’s take a look.
The Huskers open the 2023 season with a loss to a bunch of Boat Rowers. But they bounce back with three straight wins against Colorado, Northern Illinois, and Louisiana Tech. Oh, 3-1, and the Rhule-Aid drinkers will be hootin’ and hollerin’! But wait. It’s time for the game we’ve all been waiting for - the Michigan game. The recently reinstated Jim Harbaugh is bringing the best damn team in the Big Ten to Lincoln, Nebraska. It’s not going to be pretty. But don’t worry. Coach Harbaugh will soften your loss with some free cheeseburgers (but you gotta promise not to tell the NCAA). You then hit the stretch of the schedule that will make or break the Huskers season. Illinois. Northwestern. Purdue. Michigan State. Maryland. Once upon a time, Nebraska would have demolished these teams. Heck, just seven years ago they probably would have beaten them all. I predict they go 3-2 in this stretch, bringing their record to 6-4 headed into the final two games. That leaves the two most difficult games on the schedule for me to predict. The Huskers travel to Camp Randall Stadium to face the Wisconsin Badgers who also have a hot new coach of their own. The Huskers put up a valiant effort, but ultimately fall short. They then head home to face Iowa. I wouldn’t mind seeing a Husker victory. I mean, it’s Iowa and, let’s face it, the last good thing to come out of Iowa was Bob Feller. The last five matchups with them have been decided by one score or less. And last year, the Huskers finally managed to pull out a win against Iowa and end a seven-game losing streak against them. Unfortunately for Husker fans, the Hawkeyes, led by former Wolverine quarterback Cade McNamara, exact revenge for last year’s loss and pull out a victory at Memorial Stadium. Final record: 6-6. That’s right folks; you better take the unders again this year! But at least you’re bowl eligible!
BOBBY’S PREDICTION:
It looks like most of my colleagues are going to print money by fading Nebraska’s regular season win total in Vegas (currently over/under 6.5 wins over 12 games).
Maybe they can get some Iowa players to put the bets in for them.
Unfortunately, my gut tells me my colleagues are probably right. There are just so many variables with this team and this schedule. Many of Nebraska’s games are against teams with new coaches and/or coordinators. Watching Kirk Ferentz fire his son will be amusing, too. Normally we should be thrilled about a relatively weak schedule against so many other teams with big variables, but we’re one of them.
If you accept the objective fact that Frost was the worst coach in program history (on and off the field), you could be more optimistic. A competent coach makes a bowl game last year, and we return a lot of starts on both sides of the ball. Plus if we’re all honest, the B1G West is pretty bad. But this year will be marred by Frost’s complete failure to identify the right talent, recruit it, and develop it. We’re incredibly thin at critical positions (DL, WR, OL, QB). I’m buying what Rhule is selling, but he just won’t have the bought-in, developed depth this year.
Minnesota: L. On the road, primetime game, against a bald dweeb who has a pretty solid program established. They’ve started slow before, but it’s just too soon, kinda like Steve’s parole.
Colorado: W. !*#& them. Both teams are rebuilding, but if the mercenary style works in college football for Neon, it’ll be the first time. I don’t buy it. I wonder if his Louis Vuitton cowboy hat comes with a free belt.
NIU and LaTech: W and W. One thing I feel better about with Rhule is games like this. I expect a fast start and well-prepped team, because he’ll want to get lots of guys reps, avoid young transfers, and won’t have letdowns in his first 2 home games.
Michigan: L. I’m sure Harbaugh is pissed after being jilted by the NFL and wetting his khakis over the 3-game suspension. But this team will be tough, because Jim is still auditioning for that NFL job next year.
Illinois: L. I don’t like it, but Bielema is a top-3 coach in this conference. He looks like your DrUncle, but he’s a solid coach. We'll be better disciplined, but they'll be more disciplined.
Northwestern: W. I think it was going to be a tough year for NW even with Fitz at the helm. I think Rhule will show progress as the season moves along.
Purdue: W. I have no clue what this team will look like after a complete identity shift from Brohm to Walters. As the source of many of our should-have-won games the last few years, I think we eek it out.
Michigan State: L. It’s possible Nick Saban is the only coach who still wins after making $10 million a year. Jimbo and Mel Tucker filled their diapers after big paydays, but I think Mel is a decent coach who will have a better year.
Maryland: L. They will get no preseason attention and sneak out 7ish wins. Nebraska will be one of them.
Wisconsin: L. I think this will be a close one, but they’re just better up front than we will be, and a mid-November win in Madison just isn’t going to happen.
Iowa: L. This one really pains me, but I think Iowa will take as much pleasure in us not making a bowl as we took last year keeping them out of the conference title game.
Overall: 5-7. I can see 3 other games we could win, and I'm betting the spreads will be a touchdown or less. But Rhule will need a full year to suck all the poison out of this snakebitten team.
SHARI’S PREDICTION:
I’ve lost a lot of interest in Husker football over the last couple of years. Let’s be honest, there hasn’t been that much to cheer about. We’ve been on the same cycle for how long now? Hire a coach, lots of hype, complete disappointment and a large payout to move onto the next coach. I think the Rhule era will be similar. I think the transfer portal and NIL have ruined college football. It’s hard to build team chemistry when one player doesn’t like a coach or isn’t getting enough playing time, they move on. With all that being said, I’m still a Husker fan and wish them the best. I will tailgate, go to a few games and hope for the best, while also cheering for the Fighting Irish! Here are my predictions: Minnesota - loss. Colorado - win. Northern Illinois - win. Louisiana Tech - win. Michigan - loss. Illinois - win. Northwestern - win. Purdue - win. Michigan State - loss. Maryland - loss. Wisconsin - loss. Iowa - win. We will end the season 7-5.
COADY’S PREDICTION:
I am guzzling the Rhule-Aid! I am genuinely enthusiastic about the beginning of the Rhule era and what a fresh start will bring our Cornhuskers. I acknowledge that good-feeling speeches do not a football team make. That being said, Coach Rhule couldn’t have struck each and every chord better since his hiring was announced. The proof is obviously in the pudding, but I have faith (without any evidence) that things are on the right track.
The tough thing with this year’s predictions, though, is that the team could be WAYYYYYY better and still such improvement may not show up in the Win-Loss column. Until Nebraska shows marked improvement in the trenches (which is a clear priority for Rhule), the rugged Big Ten is an inhospitable barren wasteland that is tough to survive. I am counting wins against Colorado, Northern Illinois, LaTech, and Northwestern. That’s it; that’s the list. I see sure losses against Michigan and Wisconsin. Every other game is a toss up in my opinion. I can literally talk myself into a 10-2 season, but see a 4-8 record as just as (or even more) likely. Still, I choose to be optimistic (‘cause this is supposed to be more fun than self-loathing, right?) and I will assume that the Huskers split games against Minnesota, Illinois, Purdue, Michigan State, Maryland, and [Tyler J. Coverdale’s] Iowa. Nebraska finishes 7-5 and the Era of Good Feelings Around Nebraska Football begins in earnest. Bring on the Gophers!!!
JORDAN’S PREDICTION:
As someone who has spent plenty of time on the golf course with Bobby, I know what it looks like to watch someone talented fail to live up to their potential. It's a feeling Nebraska fans are all too familiar with after watching Scott Frost pull the program deeper into mediocrity after empty promises of par-saving putt. And so, here we are, where it feels like the Huskers and their coach can only be graded on the generous curve of low expectations. Any performance demonstrating the most basic fundamentals through the fourth quarter (or even a modicum of pride) will be heralded as the first signs that Nebraska is “back”.
And that is the perfect environment for Matt Rhule to repair his reputation and restore his confidence after a tough stint in the NFL. His teams won’t have to be that good (and they won’t be), they’ll just have to be competitive (and they will be), and he’ll be able to stick around as long as he likes (until a real blue blood opens up). This long, just better than mediocre marriage will begin with a first season full of early, moral victories (Colorado, Northern Illinois, Louisiana Tech, and Illinois) before tapering off into hopeful losses, and ending with a fifth and final win at home against Iowa to get everyone excited to be disappointed again.
TYLER’S PREDICTION:
This was difficult for me to write. For the last three years, I have structured this post around a single joke. It’s a very good joke. It’s a joke about how the Huskers could not find a way to beat a school to the east despite that school had not yet discovered the forward pass or nepotism rules. A school that at one point made the mistake of admitting yours truly, thus unknowingly condemning me to a life of defending myself against this rabid pack of Husker fans that are my colleagues.
This task wasn’t terrible for the last few years, but only because of that one joke: “Nebraska hasn’t beaten Iowa since 2014.” It was a joke that kept me going. And then Brian Ferentz took that joy away at Kinnick Stadium on November 22, 2023. I’m sure there are other people to blame. But it’s more fun to blame him.
To my colleagues’ credit, they could have been much more insufferable than they were. Anyway, the joke is now dead, as should be Brian Ferentz’ career as an offensive coordinator, but alas he remains. I can’t imagine why. It’s odd that he has the same last name as the head coach though.
So what happens, now, Husker fans? Is that a light at the end of the 25 year tunnel, or just a freight train coming to bring you back to reality?
A little of column A, a little of column B. 6-6.
Wins: Colorado, Northern Illinois, Louisiana Tech, Northwestern, Purdue, and Maryland
Losses: Minnesota, Michigan, Illinois, Michigan State, Wisconsin, and Iowa (Please let me have this last one. I truly don’t care about any other game on this schedule).
SARA’S PREDICTION:
Forgive me football gods, for I have sinned. I have continued to root for, support, and be disillusioned by the Huskers for the last thirty-three years. As we approach another Husker football season, I continue to commit the ultimate sin of every Nebraskan - optimistically thinking this football season will be “the year” the Huskers catapult to the top of the ranks. With that said, I am going to take a less aggressive approach this year with my prediction. It is more likely Santa Claus will move his operations to Brazil than the Huskers having a winning record this year.
Even while Matt Rhule might be the proverbial savior for the Huskers, I am hedging my bets with a 4-8 record. I anticipate the following losses: Minnesota, Colorado, Michigan, Illinois, Purdue, Michigan State, Maryland, and Wisconsin. I am chalking up victories against Northern Illinois, Northwestern, Louisiana Tech, and Iowa. So fellow Husker fans, let’s crack a cold one, enjoy the camaraderie of crying together after another mediocre season, and continue to get our hopes up that the Scarlet and Cream will have a winning season next year.
MATT’S PREDICTION:
Well Well Well! Back at it again GO BIG RED! Let’s get into it. New Coach again and starting at Minnesota on a Thursday night, well that’s a loss. Nebraska is following RHULES and MINNESOTA IS ROWING BOATS, I’m giving the edge to Minnesota, so LOSS. 0-1! Next they play Colorado in Boulder, I feel like Shedeur Sanders will show up against the Huskers and throw for 300 and add a rushing TD. I do think it will be a tight one like 35-31 because of the lack of defenses showing up. LOSS! 0-2! They get Northern Illinois at home, which means another tough battle for the Huskers. I feel like Jeff Sims finally wakes up and rushes for 2 TD and throws for 2 TD's and pulls off their first win of the season. 1-2! They get LA Tech at home and we watch the Blackshirts struggle against a 3-9 team a year ago, but pull off another win, which gives them a streak of 2 wins. Now Michigan comes to town. I’m sorry Husker fans this won’t be close. They lose by 28 and Jeff Sims gets benched! 2-3! They leave and play Illinois in Champaign. Like most teams nowadays Illinois has a transfer at QB and probably isn’t very good, but against the Blackshirts he looks like a man amongst boys and throws for 300 and 3 TD’s. LOSS! 2-4! I feel like Husker players have been following the RHULES through 6 games and beat a dumpster fire Northwestern team! 3-4. Here we go again with a winning streak! JK! They lose to Purdue and Jeff Sims has 2 interceptions. 3-5! They travel up north for the next game and play Michigan State. You never know what you're getting from MS, other than the QB play will be bad. This is a toss up, but I have to go with a low scoring game and the Huskers somehow lose this one. 3-6! I think Tagovailoa has a breakout game against the Blackshirts. He throws for 350 and 4 TD’S. Loss 3-7! They go back up north and lose a close one (24-21) against the Badgers. 3-8! They come back home for their last game against the Hawkeyes and lose again. Rhule might be the answer, just not this year. 3-9!
ASHLEY’S PREDICTION:
Well this may be a Hail Mary prediction from me yet again, but I have faith that this season will be better than 4-8 (maybe just slightly better).
The Scott Frost era was definitely a disappointment to say the least and Husker fans are definitely looking for/hoping for that glimmer of hope that the Husker program will once again be restored (sooner than later). Will Rhule be the coach to bring this glimmer of hope to Husker fans? I sure hope so or they will be paying another hefty buyout, if not!
I predict Nebraska will go 5-7 this season (when I really wanted to predict 6-6)! Why 5-7? New coaches coaching in the Big 10, a new QB with 30 touchdowns and 23 picks in his college career, new tight-ends, new wide receivers and a new defensive scheme. I hope these boys (big and small) are ready to move! Last season I predicted 6-6 with Scott Frost and the Huskers went 4-8, so 5-7 for Matt Rhule’s 1st season as head coach could be promising (fingers crossed) and feels safe! I highly recommend watching the 3 episodes of “A Look N” on You tube for some Husker preseason hype, if you haven’t already watched it!
And just for the record, I posted my predictions 1st this season….not last! WINNING, even if I lose (again)!
Wins: Colorado, Louisiana Tech, Northern Illinois, Northwestern and Purdue
Losses: Illinois, Iowa, Minnesota, Michigan, Michigan State, Maryland, and Wisconsin